


This is some shit

by rnarvaezjr



Category: My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Memes, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:44:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnarvaezjr/pseuds/rnarvaezjr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way is, like, totes obsessed with vampires. Coincidentally, Frank Iero, Gerard's high school sweetheart, happens to be a fucking vampire. What the shit? Also Tyler and Josh are just kind of there, for some reason. Unexplained Guy Fieri because Guy Fieri is unexplainable.</p><p>In case you didn't know, this sucks on purpose. If something I write is ever bad, just know that it is 100% on purpose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is some shit

"Oh  _damn son_ do I love vampires," Gerard said to himself, clearly just spending some quality time contemplating his endless (and, honestly, kind of weird) love for vampires. "If only I was a goddamn vampire. Do I know any vampires? I really don't think I know any vampires. I feel like I would know if I knew vampires," he rambled on to himself, not knowing the entire time that he actually happened to know several vampires. His feeling was wrong. He would not know if he knew vampires, obviously, since he did know vampires but didn't know that he knew vampires. This would all be much easier to understand if I had chosen to use different or more interesting words, rather than repeating the word "know" about ten times every sentence, but as we all know (see what I did there? God, am I funny), it is quite common for authors, especially 15 year old gay authors, to take what is commonly known as the "easy way out."

Gerard would have happily continued to sit and think about vampires for hours on end (not that he didn't spend enough time doing that already), but since that has yet to be accepted by the general public as a reasonable way to spend one's time, he had to go to work or something. I say "or something" because, to be honest, he might not go to work. How interesting would this story be if all he did was spend all of his time going to work and doing the things your average responsible adult does? This would be tripe. I am not about that kind of shit. No, Gerard instead decided to go out to get some Italian food, since eating such a garlic-filled type of food would likely take his mind off vampires, if only for a little while. Either that, or he would spend the entire time thinking about how tragic it was that vampires were unable to ever eat Italian food. Either way, he had to eat and he was positively jonesing for some goddamn garlic knots right about now. He figured the best place he was going to get some decent (but not great) Italian food on a budget was Olive Garden, so he got in his car and fucking drove there or something.

By the time he got to Olive Garden, Gerard felt like he was hungrier than he had ever been in his entire life. He wasn't, but how was he supposed to know that? He practically sprinted into the restaurant (if you can call it that) in an attempt to get in ahead of the infamous Olive Garden Lunch Rush. Surely the public would soon all be swarming into the establishment, eating all the breadsticks and allowing their children to touch whoever's hair they wanted. Gee was having none of it. Luckily, the restaurant was mostly deserted, and there was no wait to be seated. Gerard insisted on being seated in a booth, because who the fuck comes to a restaurant to sit at a fucking table, and he began looking over the menu while waiting for his server. He wasn't entirely sure why he was looking at the menu, since he came here often and already knew precisely what he would be ordering, but he assumed it was instinct. How embarrassing is it to be such an Olive Garden regular that you don't even have to look at the menu? Gerard sure didn't want to find out.

After about five minutes, the server arrived at Gerard's table. Although Gee didn't initially look up, he could tell by the tone of voice that his shift was likely about to end, and he was really not in the mood to be dealing with any awful customers at this point.

"Welcome to Olive Garden, would you like any appetizers tod-Gerard??"

At this point, Gee looked up at the guy who he was not supposed to have any emotional attachment to whatsoever. In fact, this was the kind of person someone should never see outside of Olive Garden. The person who knows how much money you spend at Olive Garden is not generally the person you want to have around all the time. But this man was different.

This was Frank Iero, whom Gerard had been madly in love with his Junior and Senior years of high school, and whom he'd been lucky enough never to have seen since. At least, not until now he hadn't. Obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> i invoke the spirits of the great nameless white emcees who came before me


End file.
